segunda-feira, 27 de agosto de 2012

i think people doesn't know love.. love kills you. love is the most powerful thing you have. but it kills you in such a slowly way.. and i'm almost dead. but i think i can't wait for it to kill me. i need him to kill me. right now. please. i know he loves me.  i know it. but i know he's a coward. he's fucking afraid of fucking everything. but i can't. i've waited over a year. he killed me once, twice, so many times over a year. i can't do it anymore. i can't keep dying this way. i need him to kill me. and if he ever loved me, he should do it. because there's nothing left. there's nothing left of him. there's nothing left of me. i tried to be strong. but it's too much. it has always been to much, but it's already time. there's nothing waiting for me. i've so many dreams, so many wills and i know nothing will get real, ever. i know it's all over. and i just don't want to ve here anymore. i've never thought i would right another suicide letter, but here i am. i just want you all to know that love is not a beautiful thing. or finding your soulmate is not amazing. it's the worst that could ever happen to you. it was the worst thing that happened to me. i'm no one right now. or like he used to say, i'm a nobody. i'm worthless, i'm pathetic, i'm hopeless. my friends were amazing. they're all amazing, one for one. my parents are amazing. they fought, they worked so hard. and i'm sorry. i'm sorry to all my friends. i'm sorry to my parents. i'm sorry to my little sister. and i'm sorry for my aunt. i didn't want you to go through this once again. i'm sorry. i'm sorry zini. i love you so much. you became all i've ever wanted, all i've ever dreamt. but it is too late. please be happy. please, you all be happy. and diogo. you were the one i've truly loved. you were the one i wanted to spend my life with. you were my person. i'm sorry if it was too much. you stole my heart, you played with it and then you threw it away. but i love you. i will always love you. always. no matter what. and i want you to be happy. but it's over. i'm done with all of this. i'm done with my life. good-bye you all. have a great life. enjoy it please. be happy. for me. be happy.
i don't fucking know what to do with my life. i don't even know if i want to keep living. i can't do this anymore. i can't spend another year like this. why the fuck did you do that? i told you this was our last chance. i told you! stop pushing me away, stop doing this when i do everything for you. when i push myself over the limit just for you to be fine. but it's over... this was the last time. you'll never talk to me again. you'll never touch me again. it's all over.
and what's so wrong with me? that you can leave so easily?
KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME.KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME.KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME.